top of page

Needing vs. Wanting

Recently, I was at a lovely and intimate gathering of women. A sweet woman, who had recently been widowed after thirty years of marriage, was speaking vulnerably about a question she'd been sitting with... Will I spend the rest of my life alone?

This was quickly followed up by the question, "Do we NEED to have a partner?"

I saw very clearly, and energetically felt, the difference between the woman asking the question about the future of her relational life and the woman questioning whether or not partnership is necessary... the difference was between wanting and needing.

A great example of this can be found in the difference between the child who WANTS a particular gift for Christmas and the mother who NEEDS to be able to afford the gift on a tight budget. The child in want is excited, expectant, happily imagining playing with her heart's desire. The mother, is worried, anxious and losing sleep over her finances and ability to give the desired gift.

In both scenarios, which person is in the receptive mode and which person is in the resistant mode? Which person has a better chance of manifesting and which one will struggle to become a match for what they are seeking?

The answer is that wanting is always receptive. Wanting something is fun and dynamic. We can express our desire and move on with our life, waiting and wondering when it will manifest in our life. But, needing is resistant. When we need, we obsess, we can't let go, we fret and we're watching the proverbial pot of water, waiting for it to boil.

It can be extremely difficult to shift your thoughts and feelings when it feels that you won't be okay unless the thing you need - a home, the money to pay an important bill, medical help - is delivered to you. But, it is possible.

The tools, practices and actions that can help you shift from a resistant mode into a receptive mode will be explored and discussed in my Weekly Women's Healing Group starting in February 2020. The group will be held at Left Coast Art Studio in Los Osos.

Please sign up for the first monthly commitment and let me show you how you can change any unwanted condition in your life!

9 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page